They were tired of being here. In this wilderness. At this campsite. By this mountain. They were tired of waiting. It was all they had done since they arrived. At least it was all they remembered. Moses had disappeared up the mountain for weeks. No messages back. No postcards of his progress. Just radio silence while they sat in the wilderness, waiting for his return, suspended between the promise of heaven and the memory of hell. Hell was most certainly behind them. Slavery in Egypt could be considered nothing less. The brutal conditions. The violent taskmasters. The impossible workload. It had been hell on earth.
Stagnating in this wilderness was a close second. The food wasn’t great. The conditions barely tolerable. Water was often scarce. The terrain was unforgiving. But. Heaven was allegedly ahead of them, the promise of God for a land overflowing with abundance. Milk. Honey. Lush grass. Flourishing trees. Flowing water. Great abundance. They were anxious there. That final, delightful dwelling place. But they hadn’t moved in weeks. Months. Even though Moses had returned, they were still here. Stuck in their own purgatory. Waiting for Moses to give the signal. Waiting for the pillars of cloud and fire to move. Waiting for the moment the promise would be a reality. Yet, as another silent morning dawned, they had to wonder if they were to blame for the extended stay.
Admittedly, they had gone off the rails. Even for them. They weren’t averse to some grumbling and complaining. They experienced only a twinge of guilt at having wildly pouted until manna and meat fell from the sky. But creating, celebrating, and worshipping an actual idol was a step too far. Even for them. They knew it when they started the process, when they approached Aaron and twisted his arm, when they exuberantly collected their gold jewelry and threw it into the melting pot. It hadn’t mattered then. Their singular focus was retribution for Moses’ abandonment. He had left and taken too long to return. Their fickle faith had failed. They were bored. Their minds were wandering. The enemy was roaming the camp, liberally sprinkling discontent and angst. They needed something to do. Something to celebrate. Something to worship. Something, someone, to believe in because Moses had disappeared.
Molding the calf, preparing the feast, and planning the celebration had gone beautifully. Better than expected. Until it hadn’t. Until Moses returned in the middle of their tumultuous festivities. It was a surprise. For all of them. The people and Moses alike. Moses was beyond angry. He was irate. Infuriated. Absolutely incandescent. The stone tablets inscribed with God’s own handwriting, carefully hauled down the mountain, ended up in a crumbled pile at his feet. Had a whip been readily available, he would have liberally doled out an Old Testament-style thrashing, foreshadowing the New Testament-style cleansing Jesus gave the temple. These people needed cleansing! They deserved stoning. Had Moses’ mind been clearer, he may have been inclined to use the broken tablets at his feet to stone them! They deserved it. Instead, striding into camp full of fury and purpose, Moses tore down their idol, ground it to powder, threw it in the water, and forced everyone to drink it. It did not taste good. It was disgusting. Their stomachs revolted. Violently. Perhaps they would have preferred the thrashing. Or not. Because Moses wasn’t done.
Shouting to the camp, Moses commanded everyone who would side with God to step forward. Stillness fell. Silence reigned. Steadfast gazes stared downward. Except in the Levite division. Boldly stepping forward, ever ready for action, they took their orders from Moses. “Grab your swords. Cleanse the camp.” Don’t be careful. Don’t be judicious. Don’t go soft. Spare no one and nothing. Brothers. Friends. Spouses. Neighbors. Cleanse every part of the camp. And they did. But God wasn’t done.
Knowing their hearts, the part of them that mattered, God knew they could pretend to repent. They could stop openly worshipping the idol, remove their jewelry, put away their fine clothes, and mourn pitifully without it meaning a thing. He knew they weren’t with Him. They hadn’t truly repented. They weren’t really changed. They chose not to be. So God sent a plague to get their attention. Illness fell. They were weak and miserable. It changed nothing. Their hearts remained stubborn and rebellious. They never fully turned to God. They never really changed. They didn’t welcome His presence among them or ask Him to accompany them on their journey. They refused to make a space for Him, unable to realize that without God, they were never leaving the wilderness. Because Moses was going nowhere without Him.
It was a discussion God and Moses had on more than one occasion. God would tell Moses to lead the people forward. He would promise the leadership and protection of His angel. He plainly stated it was for the people’s own safety that He not accompany them. Their rebellion would soon lead to their destruction if He were present. Moses wasn’t having it. No matter how many times he heard God say, “Go ahead and lead the people to the land I promised.” Moses also heard the caveat, “I will not be travelling with you.” Moses couldn’t think of anything less appealing. Leading a troupe of brats and hooligans through the wilderness without even the whisper of God’s presence among them was a terrifying thought. He couldn’t do it. It was beyond his ability, leaving them in limbo. Moses couldn’t handle them. God couldn’t stomach them. The possibility of entering the promised land was looking dim, because Moses was taking them nowhere unless God was going along.
Daily the people watched as Moses trekked outside the camp to pray in the Tent of Meeting. They watched the pillar of cloud come down and cover the entrance. They knew he was talking to God. Personally. Face to face. Inside that tent, Moses begged and bartered and bargained with God. There was no way he could or would go forward without the promised presence of God. He was under no illusion that he could lead these people on his own. He had already proven his inability. How often had he been angry with them? How often had he wanted to throw in the staff and leave this bunch of crazies to fend for themselves, wilderness or not? And how many times had God given him the strength and courage and wisdom to lead a people who wouldn’t recognize a proper choice if it sat down beside them? Every time. Every time Moses was overwhelmed and frustrated and angry with the people or the situation, God had carried him. Directed him on how to handle every situation. Without God’s presence, Moses could do nothing. He knew it. And he was absolutely not interested in pushing forward without God now. Unless God went with them, they would end up lost and confused and probably dead. Moses believed that. He believed they needed God to go with them. So he stood his ground, planted his flag, and made his choice, “If You aren’t going, Lord, I’m not going either.” (Exodus 32:1-33:17)
Moses didn’t want to be anywhere God wasn’t. Not in the wilderness. Not on the trail. Not in the promised land. Moses understood the importance of God’s continual presence. Going before them. Following behind them. Hovering over them. He was fully aware that their defining characteristic, the one thing that separated them from everyone else in the world, the thing that brought them safe travels and miraculous victories, was the presence of God among them. His glorious presence that covered their encampment. Peaceful presence that engaged with His people. Powerful presence that shut down enemies, brought water from rocks, and sent food from the sky. Preserving presence that made shoes and clothes last for decades. No holes. No wear and tear. No problems. Moses was absolutely not confused about the mess that would ensue if he tried to lead the people on his own. It would be an epic failure. And he wasn’t having it. As much as he wanted to move forward on their journey, as much pressure as he felt from the people to break camp and get started, he would only do so if God was going along. Because Moses only wanted to be where the presence of God was. So should you. (Deuteronomy 8:4; Nehemiah 9:21; Exodus 16; 17:1-13)
Echoing from the depths of our hearts, in every situation, should be the words of Moses. Before every decision, they should be the prerequisite. “If God’s not going, if God’s not in it, if God doesn’t sanction it, I’m not interested.” They should be playing on loop in the heart of every person who claims to know and love and follow Jesus Christ. We should be deeply cognizant of the unmitigated importance of having the presence of God surrounding us, accompanying us, and leading us through every moment of every day. Wherever we are. Whatever we are doing. Whoever we are with. No matter what. We need Emmanuel. God with us. Literally. We need His thoughts in our minds. We need His words on our lips. We need His hand guiding our actions. We need His peace, His courage, His strength, His wisdom. We cannot live this life on our own. We will fail. We will crumble at the first sign of trouble. We will capitulate to friends. We will cave to social pressure. We will collapse under the weight of the demands of life. We need God with us. Every step of the way. Everywhere we go. No matter the promised joys or potential benefits, if God’s not going, you shouldn’t be, either. (Exodus 33:14-15; Deuteronomy 13:4; 31:8; Joshua 1:5; John 14:27; 15:5; Psalm 16:11; Proverbs 21:23; James 1:5; Isaiah 40:31; Lamentations 3:25)