Jesus Isn't Decaf (By Naomi Meyers)

I grew up in dresses. We wore them all the time. Gardening, hiking, sledding, biking. I’m a firm believer that one can do almost anything in a dress. I’ve done a lot of things that way. Climbing trees, jumping fences, playing volleyball…especially climbing trees. I had quite an affinity for climbing trees. Preferably the big, old, welcoming willow out back with its sweeping, vine-like branches nearly touching the ground. There weren’t a lot of other good climbing trees. Pine trees aren’t climber friendly. Fruit trees aren’t for climbing. Except the young cherry tree beside the house. 

I shouldn’t have climbed that tree. Really. I shouldn’t have. I should have used a ladder. I thought there were cherries at the top. I have an affinity for cherries. I was impatient. So I climbed the tree in my favorite, most comfortable, black calico dress with little pink flowers. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have known it would end badly. I should have known that even a tiny, little branch could keep my skirt from following me back down the tree. 

Which is exactly what happened. As I perched on the lowest branch of the tree, ready to make my exit, I checked my skirt to make sure it wasn’t caught on some nefarious branch. Apparently I didn’t check well enough. As I made the short jump from the tree to the ground, my skirt failed to completely follow. Some of it stayed up there. I yanked urgently. The skirt ripped. It was irreparable. The situation was unfortunate. I was empty-handed. There had been no fruit to pick. I had torn the dress but had nothing to show for it. 

The cherry tree incident reminds me of all the people in the Old Testament who tore their clothes to exhibit grief and angst. I can’t remember how many souls traded perfectly good clothing for shredded rags. Sinful? Tear your clothes. (I Kings 21:20-27) Sickness? Tear your clothes. (Leviticus 13:45) Sadness? Tear your clothes. (Genesis 37:34) I always wonder about that tearing. What was the point of such a violent outward act? It didn’t change their circumstances to run around in ruined clothing. It wasn’t the tearing of their robes that brought change. Only the rending of their hearts could do that. 

Remember Nineveh? Desperately wicked and woefully sinful, they had a horrible reputation. Jonah, the prophet God’s mercy called on to warn them of the coming devastation, was more inclined to book a room in the belly of a fish than go preach to such a savage, unsalvageable society. Fortunately for the Ninevites, Jonah did some soul searching down in that fish and, when his reservation there ended, he headed off to preach in Nineveh. On his first day of the three-day journey through the city, Jonah began to warn them of the wrath to come, delivering an eviction notice that read “40 days”. (Jonah 1-3)

The men of Nineveh took immediate action. Following suit with all those before them, they did the first thing everyone in the Old Testament seems to do when faced with God’s judgment–changed their garments. When the message reached Nineveh’s king, he immediately commanded all people and animals to wear sackcloth and fast. But that wasn’t all. He added the element that would actually save them, the only element that would save them. “Stop sinning and cry out to God.” (Jonah 3:8) By royal decree, stop doing evil and repent so perhaps God would see them as better than Sodom and Gomorrah, that God would relent and save them from His wrath. (Jonah 3:4-9)

I wonder at the sackcloth and ashes. I wonder why everyone seems to believe those are the things that will save them. “Change your outward appearance,” they say. “Look penitent,” they cry. Why? That has no effect on God. Neither of those things made God turn his wrath aside. No. God heard their heart-rending cries, looked on the inside of their dirty, sinful hearts, and saw true repentance and turning from evil. It was the repentance that changed things. It was the rending of their hearts that brought the reward. (Jonah 3:10) 

It is the same for us. We can put on an act of repentance, use the right words, but if our hearts are still harboring sin, we’ve missed the brief. We have missed the message the Prophet Joel so vigorously cried out, “Stop tearing your clothes and tear the evil from your hearts instead.” (Joel 2:12-13) Empty your hearts before God. Let God empty them for you. Be honest about the evil infesting your heart and come back to God in rending, repentance, reconsecration. Tearing your clothes means nothing. Rending your heart means everything. Because God isn’t interested in how you look on the outside. God cares only what your heart looks like. (I Samuel 16:7)

It is always only the rending of our hearts that brings about the desired change. We tend to think it isn’t so. We seem to think God looks at us and judges us like we judge those around us. We have some silly notion that God looks down and sees the spotlessly dressed, perfectly coiffed, paragon of virtue we show everyone else–and that He believes the pretense. He doesn’t. He’s not looking at the brand name of your handbag or the cut of your jeans. He’s not judging His children on how they present themselves in public. No. God is judging His children on what is in their hearts. 

And let’s be honest, what’s in our hearts isn’t always that great. There’s a bunch of stuff in there. Crammed down deep under a layer of superficial love, is a layer of anger that’s been breeding hate. Maybe there’s a touch of bitterness over a real or imagined slight that tries to rear its head every now and again. There’s some pride, unforgiveness, ill will. We know we should rend our hearts, but instead, we push it down, dress ourselves up, say all the right phrases, quote all the right Scriptures, and keep going like nothing is wrong.  

Everything is wrong. We’ve quit rending our hearts. We’ve quit falling down before God at an altar, a living room chair, beside our beds and crying out, “Search me, Lord, know my heart! Tell me what you find offensive. Change me.” (Psalm 139:23-24) The truth is, we don’t want to be searched. We already know what’s down there. Searching would be uncomfortable. We have monumental dislike for the results. We don’t want to change. 

We desperately need to change. We urgently need to rend our hearts. We need the results of God’s searching. Our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our world, need the change that comes when we throw ourselves before God and cry out for a clean heart. (Psalm 51:10) A heart that has nothing to hide. A heart that is guiltless, sinless, and blameless before the great Judge of the universe. A heart that is broken by its sin and humble in its repentance is the only thing God asks. (Psalm 51:16-17)

I hope we respond. In spite of the discomfort, no matter what God finds, I hope we rend our hearts. I hope we become a people so in tune with God that our hearts are constantly open before Him, that nothing ever has a moment to fester, no spot of bitterness springs up and troubles us. (Hebrews 12:15) I want us to reap the reward. I want us to enjoy the showers of blessings. Showers of God’s love and mercy and grace. But there’s only one way to get them, rending our hearts in repentance, returning, and renewal. It might be unpleasant. There might be some hard moments. It will be worth it. True rending that leads to repentance brings a reward of lasting righteousness and peace. (Hebrews 12:11) May we rend our hearts and find the reward is worth the rending.