Decades ago, before seat belt laws and booster chairs for children, my family was making road trips across the United States. East to West. West to East. Northward. Rarely Southward. We meticulously packed our suitcases, loaded the cooler with sandwich ingredients, filled the snack bag and water thermoses, and set it all out for Dad to puzzle piece into the back of our station wagon.
Our order of travel was always the same. Rise earlier than any human should. Grab all the last-minute items. Load up and pull out before sunrise. I’ve watched more sunrises from the middle of the back seat than anywhere else. It was my designated spot. The middle of the back seat, squeezed between my siblings. There wasn’t a lot of room back there. Not for my purse and teddy bear and coloring book. Not for their things either. Sometimes I would sit on the floor and rest my head on the seat to take a nap, or use the seat as a desk to color. Sometimes we played travel games, spying what was green or searching billboards for letters of the alphabet. Between sleep, play, and excitement, the first few hours of the trip went well. The next few hours would be a different story.
Eventually, the newness and excitement would wear off. Someone would grow uncomfortable or bored. Elbows would hit rib cages. Sometimes unintentionally. Sometimes not. The young beings in the backseat would grow irritable and snarky. They would start picking at one another. My sister would grow annoyed with my brother leaning up over the edge of the driver’s seat. The older two would tire of my kneeling on the seat so I could better see out the windscreen. Accusations would be thrown. Someone was taking more than their share of the seat. Someone else was kicking. Words would grow heated. Things would grow tense. At least one child would end up pouting, and one or both of our parents would sternly remind us that there was to be no fighting in the back seat!
As often as I heard the words from them, it came as an enormous surprise to find they were not the original authors! Joseph, having revealed his identity to his brothers, prepares to send them back to collect their families and belongings. He watches their caravan fall into line. Loaded wagons. Donkeys laden with grain and bread and supplies. His brothers in the new clothes he had gifted them. Before they mount donkeys and climb aboard wagons to leave on their journey, Joseph has one more stern command, “Don’t quarrel on the journey!” (Genesis 45:21-24)
It seems such an odd thing to say to the band of adult brothers who had exhibited enough unity to covertly ship him off to a foreign country and neatly cover their tracks. There had been little enough discord surrounding that decision! They had managed to successfully make the journey to and from Egypt more than once without throwing anyone else in a trench and shipping home a blood-soaked tunic. There isn’t any record of them even being tempted to sell another sibling into slavery. Benjamin never seemed to find himself the object of their jealousy and irritation. In fact, they are all quite of one mind in this situation. Starvation and famine was all around them. It wasn’t getting better. Food was in Egypt, a land that had just been freely opened to them. Why would they ever argue about the move?
Clearly, Joseph knew the way of siblings well. The move would be long and arduous. There would be squabbles and disagreements. Perhaps Reuben and Simeon would each believe they knew the best way to load the wagons. Maybe Levi and Judah would argue over the best route back to Egypt. The journey would be difficult enough without Dan and Asher arguing over who would care for the elderly, ailing Jacob. Their fighting and fussing would delay the trip. Their discord would make it a horrendous journey. It would slow them down. Someone might well end up in another trench. Joseph didn’t want that. He didn’t want them wasting time arguing over little, inconsequential things. He wasn’t interested in stroking egos. He needed them to lay themselves aside and join together in solidarity. The troublesome journey would be more bearable if they would work together and help one another without the nitpicking and quarreling.
The Apostle Paul wanted the same thing. In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul specifically points out that there are quarrels and divisions among them. He says they have to cease. There can’t be any divisions in the church of Christ. If you are all children of God, why are you arguing among yourselves? Stop it! Don’t boast in the person who baptized you, in the church you attend, or the catchy phrases you use. If you are going to boast, boast in God’s goodness, know that we have all received goodness of the same fount, and treat one another as if you believe it! (I Corinthians 1:10-31)
Peter has a similar message for the dispersed exiles scattered across Asia. Evidently, they were struggling to uphold the fervent love for one another so desperately necessary to unify believers. Things had gone a bit pear-shaped. Envious hearts had loosened tongues to speak unkind words against one another. ill-concealed irritation and ill will for one another created schisms and chasms in what was once a cohesive group. Their fleshly desires, human wishes, selfish wants came in and chipped away at the unity. Eroded the love. Destroyed the very things that held the people together in times of trial and tribulation; things they would so tremendously need if they were going to remain a cohesive community of believers. (I Peter 1:22-2:11)
Fighting on the journey will do that. Quarreling over little, inconsequential things will stall spiritual progress. Fractures in the body of Christ over perceived slights, alleged affronts, purported insults. Frustration, irritation, aggravation chafe and rub away at your soul, creating a breeding ground for strife, anger, bitterness, division. Envy, anger, disgust with fellow sojourners will fester and bring decay. Words will be said. Rumors will be spread. Friendships will become strained. Relationships will fall apart. The community of believers will shrivel. Fellowship and unity will die an untimely death at the hands of the evil one’s greatest weapon against the community of believers–fighting, bickering, quarreling on the journey.
James speaks strong words concerning quarreling on the journey. He says those quarrels and fights, murmurings, and disingenuous mutterings, all stem from the same place–the filthy, selfish lusts of your own sin-bent heart. He says it is a desire to remain friends with the world that causes us to make allowances for such reprehensible behavior. He also says we can’t stay in step with the world and remain in harmony with God. It isn’t possible. God requires our whole hearts. It takes our whole hearts, completely devoted to God, to overlook the shortcomings in our fellow travelers that make us sigh, cringe, or grit our teeth. It takes complete infiltration by His spirit, His grace to stamp out the squabbles that make the journey unpleasant, the trip untenable. (James 4:1-6)
Thankfully, James didn’t leave us to figure it out by ourselves. He left detailed instructions. A step-by-step plan. Simple words. Hard choices. Submit to God. Resist the evil one. Absolutely refuse to be drawn aside by whatever he dangles in front of you or whispers in your ear. Draw near to God. Get just as close to Jesus as you can. Don’t leave room for anything between your soul and His heart. Cleanse your hands and purify your hearts in the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Mourn your sin. Weep over it. Be broken to the point of never going back to those sins again. Humble yourself before God and let Him do the rest. (James 4:7-10; Isaiah 1:16-17; I Peter 5:6; Proverbs 22:4)
Then, in newness of heart filled with the grace of Jesus Christ, shut your mouth! Don’t take part in gossip or backbiting. Don’t say things that don’t need to be said. Don’t let the look on your face say them, either! Remember that God is the Judge. Not only of the person who is wearing on your nerves, He’s your Judge too. Remember that. Carry it with you everywhere you go. Know it. Live like it. Treat your fellow travelers like you believe it. And remember, there can be absolutely no fighting on the journey! (James 4:11-12; Psalm 75:7; Isaiah 11:3-5; Romans 12:16; Titus 3:1-15; Ephesians 4:29-31; Luke 6:37)