Jesus Isn't Decaf (By Naomi Meyers)

Regret coursed through him as he held his unnaturally chilled hands over the warmth of the open fire. His heart was troubled. His soul was anxious. His mind was racing. It had been a long day. Not that it hadn’t started out well. It had. Celebrating Passover with Jesus was always a memorable time. The resting. The eating. The talking. Every year was indelibly etched in Peter’s brain. This year was shaping up to be the most memorable. Not in a good way. Statements had been made. Questions had been asked. Answers had been minimal. A heavy sense of foreboding pervaded the atmosphere. Things were changing. He knew it. Tried to digest it, even as the evening’s events played on repeat in his head. 

Into the quiet air of their friendly dinner, Jesus dropped a bombshell. Hands stopped midway to mouths. Jaws dropped. Sentences broke with unfinished thoughts. Astonished eyes clashed over the table. One of the Twelve was going to betray Him. One of them. Someone at their table. Someone they trusted. Someone they loved. Someone who claimed they loved Jesus. The plan was already set in motion. Things were already underway. Someone there would hand Him over, deliver Him directly into the hands of those who wanted Him dead. Someone among them was a traitor, and everyone wanted to know who. 

Suspiciously glancing around the table, the disciples began to silently question who it could be. Was it Andrew? Thomas? Matthew? Had anyone been acting strangely lately? Spending more time away from the others with no explanation for their whereabouts? Had they seen anyone talking to the Pharisees more? Hanging out with the chief priests? Getting lunch with the elders? When nothing specific came to mind, their scrutiny turned inward. Was it them? Was there something in their own hearts that would turn them away from Jesus? Did they love something else more? Social safety? Personal popularity? Financial prosperity? And how could they know if it was them or someone else? 

Jesus nebulous answer to their question didn’t help solidify the answer. There were twelve of them sitting with Him at the table. They were sharing a meal. Family style. Everyone was dipping out of the same bowls. Many of them had or would dip their hand into the bowl with Jesus. It wasn’t until Judas spoke up to ask if it was him that their attention snagged. Something about the quality of his voice shocked them. It was laced with sarcasm. As if he knew the answer before asking the question. Yet it was Jesus answer that silenced the lot and delivered the shocking blow. “You said it.” The final eleven watched in gobsmacked silence as Judas pushed back his chair with a smirk and made his swaggering exit. (Matthew 26:17-25; Luke 22:21-23; Mark 14:17-20)

Tension covered the room for the rest of the meal. They followed Jesus’ lead, ate what He gave them, drank from the offered cup, but, under the circumstances, they couldn’t really process it. The hymn at the end of dinner was a quiet event. Each man too deeply lost in thought to give himself fully to the experience. Jesus saw their distraction. He knew the disbelief and questions flooding their minds. He knew they were still piecing together what had just occurred. But he had something else to tell them. Something else that would shock them even more deeply. They were all going to leave Him. They would all fall away. Not one would stay to support Him, plead His cause, testify on His behalf. No matter what they believed about their devotion to Him, Jesus knew He would stand alone, suffer alone, die alone. (Matthew 26:26-32; Mark 14:22-26)

Righteous indignation covered their faces at His declaration. They most certainly would not leave Him! Not now. Not ever. Not one of them. The very thought was ridiculous. Highly upsetting. Deeply insulting. For Jesus to put them on the same level as that traitor, Judas, turned their stomachs and put their backs up. All of them. Especially Peter. He was adamant. There would never be a time when He fell away from following Jesus. He’d go with Him anywhere. Even to death. He would never deny His Lord. Never. He was crushed to hear Jesus say it would happen. Refused to believe he would purposely deny His Lord. He knew himself. He would never fall away. He would never leave Jesus. He would never run, hide, or deny. Maybe the others would fall prey to fear and run to hide or be quick to deny, but Peter knew he would never betray his faith in Jesus. 

Walking along beside James and John, Peter followed Jesus deeper into the Garden of Gethsemane. Irritation chaffed Peter’s spirit with every. His mouth was closed, but his mind fumed. He found it difficult to calm down after such a drastic affront. Reaching a quiet, peaceful place, Jesus instructed them to wait for Him there, but not to sleep. They were to stay awake and wait for His return. Peter intended to do so. With the way his mind was reeling over the events of the last several hours and the proclamation of things to come, it was unlikely the havoc in his head would let him rest. Slumping down at the base of a tree to wait, he mentally sifted through all the surprises he’d gotten that day. Little by little, his traitorous body gave in to the physical exhaustion that often accompanies great emotion. He lost the battle he planned to win against sleep. It would have been better if he had stayed awake. (Matthew 26:26-38; Luke 22:31-34; Mark 14:17-31)

If Peter had stayed awake while Jesus went further into the Garden, he might have heard the heart of Jesus being poured out to His Father. He could have heard the cries of grief and distress. He would have felt the agony as Jesus pled with the Father, with whom all things are possible, to change the course of events rapidly speeding His way. He would have heard His quiet pleas to have the coming pain and suffering removed from His path. He would also have heard His quiet surrender, the Son’s acceptance of the Father’s will over His own as He whispered the acquiescing words, “Not what I wish, but what You want.” If Peter had stayed awake, he wouldn’t have been snoring when Jesus came back to check on them. He wouldn’t have had to be wakened with the rhetorical question, “Are you sleeping?” (Matthew 26:39-40; Luke 22:39-46; Mark 14:33-38)

Peter was, indeed, sleeping, embarrassing as it was. Sitting comfortably on the ground, his racing thoughts hadn’t kept him awake as he believed they would. He dozed off. He shouldn’t have. He knew better. Not just because Jesus had told Him to stay awake, either. Peter should have stayed awake because He knew from experience Jesus never said anything that didn’t have meaning. He didn’t waste words. He didn’t play pranks. Everything He said was a lesson, a warning, an instruction. Peter knew that. The command wasn’t selfishly given. Jesus didn’t tell him to stay awake simply to torment him or rob him of rest. No. Jesus told him to stay awake because He knew what was coming. For Himself. For Peter. Jesus knew Peter needed to stay awake and pray because he was on the brink of an enormous temptation. A temptation he would never be able to resist if he wasn’t strengthened by prayer. In a very short time, Peter would face the overwhelming temptation to deny knowing Jesus. Perhaps there was a possibility of resisting. If only he had stayed awake to pray. 

Now, standing in the courtyard outside the place the arresting mob had taken Jesus, attempting to hide in plain sight, Peter recalled the third and final time Jesus woke him from slumber. It had been too late then. The time to spend in solitude and prayer, beseeching God to deliver him from temptation was past. The predicted events were occurring. Wiping sleep from his eyes, he stumbled to his feet only to hear the thud of approaching footsteps. It sounded like an army. Everyone who was anyone was there. Chief priests. Scribes. Elders. Soldiers armed with swords and spears. And Judas, the betrayer, proudly leading the charge. Anger surged through Peter’s veins as Judas stepped forward to exchange words with Jesus and mockingly kiss his cheek. Shock slammed through Peter as he realized everything was happening just as Jesus said it would. Panic rocked him as he realized he was next. In the line of events Jesus said would occur, Peter’s denial was next. Before the rooster announced the dawn, Peter would deny His Lord. Not once. Not twice. Three times. (Matthew 26:44-50; Luke 22:47-53; John 18:1-9; Mark 14:43-49)

One wonders if, in the moments of introspection before the servant girl first recognized him, Peter wished he would have stayed awake in the Garden of Gethsemane. As he stood there wondering what would happen next, did he wish he had taken Jesus’ words to heart and stayed awake to pray? As the battle raged within him whether to admit his identity or cave to his humanity, did Peter finally understand that staying awake to pray would serve him much better than the sleep ever had? As he vigorously denied the accusations over and over again, did Peter finally realize why Jesus hadn’t rested His body to recharge his strength for this ordeal, but rather prayed to recharge His soul? Or did the necessity of staying awake to pray only set in after the rooster crowed and Peter found himself alone, prostrate in penitence and tears? What might be different if Peter had stayed awake to pray? (Matthew 26:69-75; Luke 22:54-62; Mark 14:66-72; John 18:15-18, 25-26)

It seems that is where Peter’s denial began, his inability to stay awake and pray. His lack of interest in arming himself with the spiritual fortitude to withstand temptation. It seems the account would read so much differently had he simply heeded Jesus’ warning and stayed awake to pray. Had he done so, perhaps he’d have answered the servant girl honestly. Had he recharged his soul in prayer instead of his eyes in sleep, maybe he would have had the courage to own the truth when she outed him as Jesus’ follower to a group around him. Had Peter chosen to center his heart and soul in communion with the Father, perhaps he wouldn’t have had to vehemently swear the charge wasn’t true. Maybe, had Peter stayed awake to pray, he would have resisted the temptation to deny Jesus and cheated the rooster of his triumphant crow. 

You see, friends, your betrayals and denials of Jesus never begin in your place of prayer. They can’t. There is no space for them there. When you are on your knees, pacing your floor, driving down the road, communing with God, and recharging your soul, temptation flees. The evil one knows he can’t win in those moments. So he loiters. Patiently. Waiting for the moments of sadness, suffering, and silence. The times when your heart is troubled, your soul is burdened, your mind is a blur of barely processed information. Then he strikes. He whispers things to you that seem completely believable. Fear becomes your reality. Anxiety becomes your daily bread. You will be tempted to go off course, chart your own path, make decisions not sanctioned by God that have no possibility of ending in your good. Without the top cover of a prayed-up soul, the evil one will quickly lead you out on a spiritual ledge and encourage you to jump. If you have allowed your soul to sleep rather than pray, you’ll do whatever he suggests in that moment. Just like Peter. You will rely on your own wits and abilities to rescue you from your troubles rather than being true and trusting God to make your life beautiful in His own way and time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11; I Peter 5:8; Luke 18:1-8; Romans 8:28) 

It doesn’t have to be that way. Not for you and me. We can learn from Peter’s mistakes. We can read the directions of Jesus and arm our souls against temptation. That was the whole point of Him telling them to stay awake and pray. Temptation was coming. He knew it even if they didn’t. And it wasn’t just coming for Peter. Their world would soon be flooded with choices they would be tempted to make poorly. Their desire for self-preservation would come to the fore. Fear would make them run and hide. Anxiety would keep them locked in darkened houses, hoping to somehow survive the surging tide of persecution. That wasn’t what Jesus wanted. He wanted them to be bold and strong. He wanted them to share the gospel. He wanted them to go out and boldly, loudly, without reticence or hesitation tell the world about His life. His death. His resurrection. Their fear would tempt them to stay hidden away. Only through prayer would they find the strength to bravely move forward with the task Jesus charged them to do. The same is true for you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

Through the chaos and uncertainty of life, God is still calling you to pray. Why? Because temptation is coming. Maybe it is already there, surrounding you, bombarding your soul, taunting your mind, troubling your heart. Maybe fear and anxiety have you in a chokehold. Your faith is flagging. Your hope is sinking. Your trust in the faithfulness and promises of God is all but gone. You are exhausted. Mind. Body. Soul. Every part of you cries out for sleep and its momentary relief from the breath-sucking conflict around you. Into the cacophony of voices offering suggestions and temptations to ease your worries and better your situation, I hope you still your soul enough to hear the words of Jesus echoing from Gethsemane, “Stay awake and pray.” I hope you do it. Before you rest your tired eyes, I hope you bring your weary soul to the throne of grace and pray for rejuvenation. Ask for strength to stand against temptation. Ask for wisdom to navigate your circumstances. Ask for grace to endure difficulties and struggles and hardships with courage. Ask for the peace of God to fill your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Ask Him to keep His promises. Then fall asleep resting in Him, knowing He will keep His word. Because He will. If you stay awake and pray. (John 14:1; I Corinthians 10:13; James 1:5; II Corinthians 1:20; 12:7-9; II Timothy 2:1; Philippians 4:6-7)

The crowd was rapidly reaching the limits of his control. He didn’t understand it, but he knew it. Hateful words split the air punctuated by the shaking of angry fists. Bloodlust radiated from rebellion-etched faces. At any moment a riot would break out. The people were itching for a fight. Pilate couldn’t figure the source of their rage. The Man before him was clearly innocent. By his laws and theirs. There was nothing to prove otherwise. No laws had been broken. No crimes committed. No offenses worthy of death had been done. Yet the crowd screamed belligerently on. They wanted Him dead. Now. Today. They would do it themselves if Pilate wouldn’t. They would consider no other option. Given the choice of a sinner or a savior, the people’s answer was clear. Sinner. No matter what Pilate said. No matter how he tried to reason with them. No matter that they had no evidence to substantiate their claims. Their soul-deep hate resounded through the air to rest on his ears. “Crucify Jesus!” 

Previous knowledge of the people’s choice did not assuage the stabbing, visceral pain their angry chants caused. Knowing how things were meant to go at this point of His life did not erase the dread of what was coming. Hearing Pilate plead His case before the raging mob was heartwarming, but Jesus knew it would change nothing. Not their minds. Not their cries. Not His destiny. It wasn’t meant to. He’d been born for this. That miracle pregnancy and birth thirty-three years ago had been the beginning of this entire mission. He was born to die. For those who now believed. For those yet to believe. For those who would never believe. For the people right here, right now, chanting and screaming and calling for His demise. The offer would still be the same. Their sins would become His. His life would be sacrificed for theirs. Jesus would die that they might live. Eternally. Whether they accepted it or not, everyone would be given the opportunity to choose. Sin or the Savior. The choice would be theirs. (Matthew 27:15-24; Mark 15:6-15; Luke 1:26-38; 2:1-7; 23:18-23; John 18:38-40; Romans 5:17-21; I Corinthians 15:20-21; Hebrews 9:28)

A few short days ago, any number of people would have been certain this particular scene would play out differently. A crowd had assembled then as well. They weren’t angry. They weren’t raging. They weren’t upset at all. Quite the opposite. They were rejoicing. Singing. Praising. Joyously shouting. Blessed to be in His presence. Excitedly announcing to the world that their Savior, their King had come. The faces then had been wreathed in smiles, luminous with adoration. The hands had been raised in praise, waving palm branches in honor. A few days ago, when Jesus had ridden into Jerusalem on the back of a colt saddled with the cloaks of His disciples, His path had not been rocky or rough, dusty or dirty. No. It was paved with the garments of those who believed. The air split with the sound of singing. Praise surrounded the entire space. Voices lifted in glorious rejoicing because they had made their choice. Savior. For sinners. From sin. He was their God. They were His people. As they watched that particular portion of prophecy unfold on the road before them, they knew with absolute certainty they had made the right choice. On that day they weren’t afraid to own it. Loudly. But that was then. (Matthew 21:8; Mark 11:7-11; Luke 19:36-40; John 12:12-13; Zechariah 9:9)

Apparently the crowds who lined the streets welcoming Jesus’ triumphal entry were swamped with pressing duties today. Maybe they had taken ill. Perhaps they had medical appointments. More likely, they were terrified to come out and stand up against this crowd so precariously perched on the edge of sanity. Whatever the reason for their absence, they appear to have stayed at home. Except for the ones who turned up. Some of them were there. Silent. Still. Looking on at the erupting mayhem from alleged places of security. Some who originally mingled among the crowd in curiosity now drifted to the outskirts seeking safety from the imminent danger. A few peered from behind nearby shrubs, their timid faces periodically peeking out to assess the situation and determine when to entirely retreat. Their brows were furrowed. Their eyes were fearful. Their lips were fused shut. By failing to raise a dissent, they assented. Changed their choice. Self over savior. As the crowd maliciously yelled, “Crucify Him!”, their silence issued their consent. “Crucify Jesus.” 

One wonders what caused them to come to that place. Did fear steal their voices? Shock render them silent? Terror freeze them in their hiding spots? With the looming riot before them, were they simply choosing self-preservation? Were they concerned for their lives and families and livelihoods? Had they been threatened with excommunication by the religious leaders who stirred up the crowd? Was the possibility of ridicule and persecution simply too much to bear? What, exactly, happened to make them switch their choice to earthly safety instead of eternal security? 

Yes. I know. This was all in God’s plan. Jesus was born to die for your sin and mine, so we wouldn’t have to. I couldn’t be more grateful. Truly. But that’s the easy answer to our questions. Jesus was supposed to die. It was God’s plan. Nothing could stop it. Nothing would stop it. But. I still want to know why no one came and stood up, spoke up on His behalf. Not one person. Not a disciple. Not a follower. Not someone who had been healed. Not a man who had been fed. Not a woman who had been forgiven her adulterous ways. Not one person had the nerve, the gumption, the grit to step out of their comfort zone and selflessly take a stand for Jesus. Even His own disciples fled. The moment that armed mob hauled Jesus away, they went into hiding. Except Peter. (Matthew 26:56; Isaiah 53:5; I Corinthians 15:3; John 3:16)

Following at a distance so as to remain undetected, Peter made his way to the courtyard of the high priest. He wanted to know the outcome. He wanted to see if Jesus would extricate Himself as He had before. What he didn’t want was to be detected. Peter had no intention of going before the Sanhedrin to testify on Jesus’ behalf. He had no inclination of indicating his association with Jesus. But he didn’t have to say the words. People recognized him. His face. His accent. They said so. He denied it. Vehemently. Not once. Not twice. Three times. Just like Jesus said would happen. When faced with the opportunity to choose between self and the Savior, Peter chose himself. How often do you do the same? (Matthew 26:69-75)  

The last time you were faced with the choice to stand up for Jesus, did you do it? With words? With actions? When it was hard? When no one else agreed with you? When you risked friendships or relationships to do so? Did you choose to stand on the sound teachings of the Book rather than be drawn aside by “empty talk and deception”? Did you choose God’s Word over the opinions and ideas of people? Did you find your soul craved the Savior more than the sin and selfishness of the world? In the heat of the moment, when answers were required, did your soul shake and sway toward the earthly safety of your sinful self or did you stalwartly stand in the eternal security of the Savior? (Titus 1:10-11; 2:1, 7-8, 11-14)

As you contemplate the events leading up to the crucifixion, I hope you spend extra time considering the choices made by the people present in those moments. Those who loved Jesus. Those who didn’t. Those who ran. Those who stayed. Those who spoke. Those who remained silent. I hope you realize you are faced with the same choices today. Will you stand up and identify with Jesus in a world that stands against Him? Will you sacrifice popularity for His presence? Do you believe Him worth risking your reputation and relationships, friendships and future? Are you ready to choose today between the same things the people of Jesus’ day had to choose? Sin and self or the Savior. Admittedly, there are pros and cons to each choice. One will make you popular on earth, the other will make you present in Heaven. So weigh your options. Carefully count the cost. Ask yourself if you are willing to trade earthly pros for eternal cons. Then choose. Now. Today. What will it be? Sin? Self? Or the Savior? (I Corinthians 16:13; Luke 14:25-33; Job 34:4; Joshua 24:15; Mark 10:17-22)

Furtively sneaking up to the side of the house, they cautiously peered through the windows. The sight was disgusting. Abhorrent. Offensive. Apparently, every rascal and ragamuffin in the area had received an invitation to dinner at Matthew’s house. Of course they had all accepted. Being a tax collector and social outcast didn’t preclude the man from having money. Those scruffy dregs of society probably hadn’t eaten like this in ages. The table overflowed. Their plates were heaped high. The conversation was animated. And, seated right in the middle of all the organized chaos, comfortably taking part both in the talking and feasting, sat Jesus. It was an utter disgrace. (John 2:13-15)

Not that they expected anything else. Quite the opposite. This rather proved their opinions of Him true. No matter the number of miracles He performed. Regardless of the excellent truths He taught. In spite of the fact He could quote the law better than they themselves did, the Pharisees were determined to find something by which to discredit Him. The scene inside the tax collector’s house would certainly do the trick. Those people were having the time of their lives. Prostitutes. Tax collectors. Unfaithful men. Dishonest women. Lawbreakers of every kind. Jesus was definitely a magnet for the dregs of humanity, the unclean, the socially unacceptable. People known for their poor choices and illegal acts. People who didn’t keep the letter of the law. People who wouldn’t know the truth if it walked up right beside them. People with whom Jesus should have no affiliation. If He was a real prophet. If He was the Son of God. If He really was their long-awaited Messiah. Of all their measurements that said He wasn’t, this one spoke the loudest. There He sat. Brushing elbows with the unholy. Listening. Smiling. Talking. Teaching. Acting like those people, those sinners, those social rejects, could become part of the kingdom of God.  

The very thought was preposterous! Those obviously lost souls hadn’t spent their entire lives memorizing the law and carefully keeping every word. They didn’t count their steps on the Sabbath. Fast with regularity. Pray publicly. Give noticeably. They hadn’t earned a designated seat in the synagogue by perfect attendance. No. They were unclean. In word. In deed. There were no redeemable qualities in them. Especially those useless scraps of humanity called tax collectors. Everyone hated them. They were wretched. Worthless. Unsalvageable. Cheats lining their pockets with money from inflated taxes. Yet, when Jesus could have surrounded Himself with perfect, upright, righteous men like the Pharisees, He chose instead to sit down to dinner with a bedraggled group of unrighteous ragamuffins. (Matthew 9:9-11; Mark 2:13-16)

It was not to be tolerated. And that was fine by them. Assuming one’s character is reflected in the company they keep, the Pharisees couldn’t stop the frisson of triumph that coursed through their souls. They had been right about Jesus all along! He wasn’t so great of a guy. How He managed to heal so many people and do so many miracles, they didn’t really know, but He clearly wasn’t their Messiah. He couldn’t be. Their Messiah wouldn’t spend so much time courting the scumballs and lowlifes of society. He wouldn’t be so busy healing their diseases and forgiving their sins. He wouldn’t be so careless about the rigidity of the law. His disciples would be fasting and praying and not picking grain on the Sabbath. And Jesus would be spending time with them, the righteous Pharisees, not with the miscreants now surrounding Him. (John 2:18,23-24)

It wouldn’t be the last time Jesus sat down to eat with tax collectors and sinners. The occurrence became common enough that the Pharisees and scribes complained about it. Even when it turned out in their favor. Like when Jesus met Zaccheus. Carefully hidden up in a tree, Jesus still saw him. Called to him. Specifically. Told him to come down. And invited Himself over to stay at Zaccheus’ house. There was a lot of complaining that day. By everyone. No one in the crowd following Jesus, hoping to get His attention, touch His garment, feel His hand, appreciated the fact Jesus gave time to Zaccheus. They were all affronted by His decision to go home with him. But they all benefitted. Zaccheus chose repentance and restitution. He did something unheard of. The tax collector gave money back. To the people. Yet it didn’t stop the question frustrating the minds of the Pharisees. Why did Jesus spend so much time eating and hanging out with people the religious leaders deemed unclean, socially unacceptable, worthless, when He could simply hang out with them? (Luke 15:1-10; Luke 19:1-10)

Knowing their thoughts, Jesus answered. More than once. He was busy being about the Father’s business. He was seeking His precious straying sheep. He was searching for His treasured lost coin. He was healing souls sick with sin. He had come to seek and save the lost and to give them abundant, magnificent life in Him. Jesus wasn’t looking just inside the synagogue. His efforts weren’t limited to those who meticulously obeyed the letter of the law. He wasn’t seeking only the properly pedigreed people from the right side of town. No. Jesus came for everyone. Physically sick. Spiritually dying. Those dead in trespasses and sin. The people whose list of sins was so great as to be insurmountable until Jesus came and erased the debt with all its obligations. The already righteous didn’t need a savior. Sinners did. That’s who Jesus came to seek and save. The lost. The sinners. The socially unacceptable. Those surely unsalvageable. People on the margins of society. People like me. People like you. (John 9:4; Mark 2:17; Colossians 2:13-15; Ephesians 2:1; Luke 15:11-24) 

No matter how good you are, how upstanding your character, or whether your house is in a gated community or a ghetto, there is a sinner in all of us. An addict. An adulterer. A liar. A thief. The list of sins standing against us should separate us from God eternally. Except Jesus. Jesus came that we might be saved from our sins and extricated from our mess. He walks right into where we are, the darkest alleys of our lives, and makes a table right there. He welcomes us to pull up a chair and have lunch with Him. Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Learn from Him. He offers us a feast of love and mercy and grace. And He gives us the opportunity to stay in that space. Live there. Continually partake of His offerings. All are welcome. No one is ever turned away. There’s always an open seat at the table of grace. (Romans 1:16; 3:22-24; 4:16; 5:18-19; 8:14; 10:9-13; John 3:16; 6:35; 7:37-38; Revelation 22:17; Isaiah 55:1)

The disciples found this true. Seated with Jesus at the frequently painted, often preached, very well-known meal dubbed, “The Last Supper,” the disciples gathered around Jesus. They were used to being there. Eating with Him. Talking to Him. Learning from Him. Maybe they had even gotten a little complacent about it. Maybe the shine of sitting with Jesus had worn off a little. But this final supper together wasn’t like the others. It was darker, more somber, the mood heavier. The words Jesus spoke held more gravity. Someone was going to betray Him. Someone was going to offer Him up to death and destruction. Someone who sat at His table. Someone who had consistently been offered His grace was going to sell Him out. Someone else was going to verbally, vehemently deny knowing Him. In fact, at some point, all of them were going to abandon Him and run for their lives. The fact changed nothing. Jesus didn’t remove their seats at His table because He knew what was coming. No. The love kept streaming. The mercy kept flowing. The grace kept pouring out. They were all still welcome, no matter what their past, present, or future held. Why? Because all are welcome at God’s table of grace. (Mark 14:-20; 27-31; Matthew 26:31,56) 

You are too. No matter what your past says about you. Where you’ve been. What you’ve done. No matter the ugliness of your present. Where you are. What holds you captive. No matter how bleak your future looks. Where you are headed. How limited your options appear. There is a seat with your name on it at God’s overflowing table of grace. There’s room for you there. When no one else wants anything to do with you, Jesus does. When everyone else thinks you are too far gone, Jesus doesn’t. When few can see your potential through the filth of your failures, Jesus pulls out your chair and welcomes you to His table. The main course is grace. It’s plentiful. Overflowing, in fact. The sides are unending mercy and unfailing love. For you. Regardless of all the reasons you aren’t fit for His kingdom, you are still welcome to come. Always. Take a seat at the table. And let His grace cover your sins. Now. Today. Just as you are. From near. From far away. From a place you think grace doesn’t reach. From a space you believe grace can’t flow. From the prison of sin that tells you grace can’t extricate you. Come anyway. Because it can. It does. It will. The grace of Jesus Christ extends beyond the extraordinarily far-reaching fingers of your sin and degradation. You have only to come to the table. Sit in the seat inscribed with your name. A space saved just for you. Your own personal place at the table of grace. (Ephesians 1:7; 2:4-5, 8, 17; 4:7; Romans 3:20-24; 5:1-2, 8; 9:16; Titus 2:11; 3:4-7; John 1:16-17)

Three months had passed since their miraculous deliverance put Egypt in the rearview mirror. They were still reeling with awe. Not just about the exodus. About a dry path through the Red Sea. About surprise quail for dinner, bread falling like dew, and water springing from a rock in the desert. About the amazing defeat of the Amalekites. It made the promise easy to make. Why wouldn’t it be? They were in a good place. Headed to the land God promised their ancestors, their heads swam with visions of perfection. Lush fields. Overflowing streams. Healthy herds. Growing families. Everything was working out for them. God was obviously protecting them. He was watching over their lives. He was guiding their steps. They couldn’t foresee a time when they would regret making the commitment, or a time when they would choose not to keep their side of the agreement. They were happy to enter into a covenant with God. Eager to promise obedience to every one of His commands. Thrilled to make a vow to God while basking in the afterglow of His wonder-working power. Of course they would do everything God said they should. He could consider their part of the covenant kept. They would do everything the Lord commanded. Always. Except they wouldn’t. (Exodus 19:3-8) 

It wasn’t that they didn’t start out well. They did. After hearing the extensive list of rules, laws, and commandments that came from God’s lips to Moses’ ear, they truly attempted to live by them. No other gods. No idols. No murder. No adultery. No stealing. The list went on. Adhering to the initial ten didn’t seem so difficult. At first. But Moses had disappeared up the mountain with Joshua after delivering the laws. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, except they had never returned. Days turned into weeks. Then a month. No one could go up to investigate. No word came down to inform. God didn’t appear. There was no one to tell them what to do or where to go. If they should go. Their lives were effectively on hold, but the evil one wasn’t. (Exodus 24; Galatians 5:7) 

While Moses was up on the mountain in sweet communion with God, the evil one was running amok throughout the camp below. Discontentment, discouragement and frustration began to simmer and boil over among them. The monotony of waiting started getting on their nerves. They were bored. They were impatient. They weren’t happy with the silence. They weren’t even certain Moses was coming back down that mountain. He wasn’t young anymore. Maybe the climb had been too much for him. Maybe Joshua was stuck up there nursing him through a medical episode. Maybe he’d gone on ahead without them. There was no proof he hadn’t just left there. Abandoned. Annoyed. Afraid. Angry. They needed something to keep them occupied until Moses returned. If he ever did. 

The truth of the old saying that idle hands and minds are the devil’s workshop was vibrantly underscored. Feeding into the ideas he’d carefully planted, satan whispered words and ideas that said they were alone now. Moses had left them. God had abandoned them. They were alone in the wilderness with no direction, no protection. They had no leader. God wasn’t dropping instructions to anyone else. Not even Aaron. Maybe it was time to take a page from the Egyptians. Build a god. Any god. Something to believe in. Something to put their faith in. Something to supposedly lead them out of this wilderness. They didn’t want to stay there. They wanted to get going. They wanted to get to the promised land. Now. But without a god to lead them, without a leader to guide them, they were stuck. 

Urgently approaching Aaron, they demanded a new god to follow. He was Moses’ second, surely he had at least a little authority. Maybe, but he clearly didn’t have much sense. He was as bored as the rest of them. There was only so much one could find to do in a makeshift camp. And the evil one had been just as busy with him as with the rest of them. It took literally zero effort to convince Aaron to build an idol. None. Like a house of cards, he capitulated at the very suggestion. “Bring all the jewelry to me,” he commanded. And they did. Without thought or concern, without remembering their fervently made promise to obey all the commands of God, they brought their jewelry to Aaron. Melting down the gold, he meticulously hand-tooled the image of a calf. Engraved it with careful markings. Set it before the people with a flourish. Only to hear the traitorous people, in flagrant violation of both the first and second commandments, claim it as god. Their god. The one who rescued them from and led them out of Egyptian bondage. And it didn’t end there. 

Commandment two was about to take a hacking. Especially the extended part. You know the one. The words that say not to bow in worship or serve idols. Not the kind you can see. Not the kind you can’t. Simply. Clearly. Explicitly. No idols. None. No idol worship. Ever. It wasn’t to be done. Not even considered. Nothing, absolutely not one thing, was to ever take the place of honor and authority reserved for God alone. God didn’t stutter when He issued the commands. They were unarguably clear. The people of Israel didn’t stutter when they promised to keep them. Twice. Once before they were issued. Once after. And God didn’t talk about idols only once. He reiterated it. Once in the second commandment. Again in the beginning of the additional laws. It wasn’t even hidden. He literally said, “Don’t make golden gods for yourselves.” No hidden agenda. No confusing verbiage. No caveats. Just a straightforward command from God to His people. (Exodus 20:1-5; 23; 24:7)

God’s commandments are always that way. Straightforward. There is nothing ambiguous about them. He never sets out to confuse people. He doesn’t say things just once. Over and over throughout the Bible, the commands of God are repeated. They are not contradictory. God doesn’t change. He isn’t fickle or spineless, holding one command for some and another for others. We are never left to guess at what He wants, hoping to maybe get it right. His commands don’t come with caveats. They need no special interpretation. They don’t change with the times, society’s whims, or your own personal urges. There is no circumstance under which worshipping an idol (in any form) will ever be rubber-stamped. Not when you are disgruntled. Not when you are desperate. Not when you are bored out of your mind. There is no moment in which God will turn a blind eye to the worship of anything that isn’t Him. Not on earth. Not in heaven. Not in the sea. Nothing can take preeminence over God in your life and still leave you in a proper relationship with Him. The Israelites knew that. They knew God’s part of the covenant rested solely on their obedience. Yet still they chose to throw a party in celebration of their new god. Still, they chose to give the credit for their miraculous rescue to an impotent statue made by human hands. Still, they chose to take what was not god and make it a god, willingly violating their covenant with God. (Exodus 20:4-5; 22:20; Deuteronomy 4:2; Malachi 3:6; Isaiah 40:8; Hebrews 13:8)

Calling the congregation before him, Aaron announced there would be a festival the following day. He said it was to the Lord. It wasn’t. It would be to their new god. The one he had just created. The gorgeous, golden, hand-crafted one on display. The one that couldn’t hear. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t speak. Had absolutely no power. The one to which he personally built an altar. They would throw a feast. There would be drinking and dancing. There would be sacrifices to their new god. And no one would give a thought to the true God. The One whose strength and glory and holiness they had sung about just a few short weeks before. No one would be thinking of the true God while they were offering sacrifices before their fake god. They wouldn’t be thanking the omnipotent God of the universe while eating and drinking in front of that calf. Their minds would be far away from the commandments as they danced and partied the day away in the presence of their newly minted leader. No one would remember the promises they had so easily vowed yet so quickly broken. No one would remember to be promise keepers. No one would remember God. (Exodus 32:1-6)

From the comfort of our 21st-century homes, it is so easy to sit in judgment over Aaron and the ancient Israelites. We can read their account from start to finish. We know that if they had obeyed God as devotedly as they originally vowed, the account would read so much differently. We know that if they had passed down an unwavering heritage of godliness to their children and grandchildren, the landscape of the entire Old Testament would be changed. We also have the New Testament. We know the life of Jesus. We know God keeps His word to His people. We can read the exhortations of the apostles. We know that in the end of all things, God wins. We also know that we are exactly like the fickle people of Exodus. 

In total transparency, each of us would be forced to admit that we have made promises to God. Glibly. Hastily. When things are going well. When the paycheck is constant. When the family is healthy. When the blessings are falling like rain. When everything is working in our favor it is easy to make vows to God and even keep them. The difficulty comes when times are hard. When bad things happen. When jobs are lost. When illness strikes. When homes are splintered by storms. In those moments, it is so difficult to look up to heaven and tell God you still trust Him, you will still follow Him just as closely as when things were good. In despair and discouragement, it is easy to turn aside. Look for a different way. Find another god to follow. It is easy to believe God has abandoned you. In that moment of defeat and disillusionment, it is easy to forget or alter God’s commands. In frustration and fear, it is often difficult to be a promise keeper. 

At the end of this Old Testament account, we find Aaron and the people on the receiving end of great punishment for their failure to keep their promises. The death of three thousand men was a horrible loss, but the loss of the presence of Almighty God would have been greater. I know that. You know that. We also know that the only way to remain in Christ, to have His presence continually, is to keep His commandments. Steadfastly. Don’t turn to the right or the left. Don’t be disillusioned in God’s moments of silence. Don’t be drawn away by the lies of the evil one. Measure every thought, every feeling, every idea by the truth of God’s Word. Alone. Stand in that truth. Only. Refuse to be moved. The safest space for a promise keeper is firmly planted in unwavering obedience to the Word of God. It is there you are covered. It is there you are secure. It is there you are backed by the omnipotent power of the great God of the universe. So make a vow to God and keep it. Always. Be a promise keeper. Forever. Knowing this. The promises of God are always yes and amen to those who keep their promises to Him. (Proverbs 4:27; John 14:15; 15:1-10; Exodus 32:25-28; I Thessalonians 5:21; Numbers 30:2; II Corinthians 1:20; II Peter 1:4; Hebrews 10:23)

Wary eyes met his as he issued the command to set up camp on the edge of the wilderness. It was to be expected. Moses had also noticed the side-eye he’d received when he led them toward the Red Sea. The people weren’t stupid. Generations of enslavement and hard labor hadn’t dulled their sense of direction. They knew there was another, closer route to take toward the promised land. So did Moses. So did God. God also knew His people. He knew their pain and suffering. He was acquainted with their grief. He understood the fragility of their faith. He fully comprehended that if He led them the close way, they would encounter pushback from the Philistines who inhabited that area. There would be war. And, in their current mindset, the people He had worked so diligently to free would throw up their hands and run back to Egypt in surrender again to slavery.

It would be difficult to blame them. The people had been through so much. Few had known freedom. Ever. Most were born into slavery. Many of the men had unknowingly faced death as infants at Pharaoh’s command. Only the faith and cunning of the Israelite midwives had spared their lives. They had all known hard labor. Fear. Punishment. Abuse. For decades they cried out to God for salvation. They had no proof He heard. Silence echoed from the heavens. God seemed uncaring. Uninterested. Unconcerned with their plight. And the people began to wonder if He had forgotten them, forgotten the covenant He had made with Abraham. He hadn’t. (Exodus 1:15-23; 2:23-24; 5:19-23)

Looking down on His people from His dwelling in the heavens, God saw the horror of their situation. He watched the forced labor, the beatings, the abuse. He felt their pain. His ears rang with their cries as they struggled and suffered. He knew they were exhausted. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. Broken spirits. Battered faith. Burned out confidence. Belief was at an all-time low. Trusting God seemed futile. He had done nothing to rescue them. They had no proof He ever would. They had been asking for a long time to no avail. As their circumstances worsened, their ability to hope and trust in God depleted. Yet, the circumstances that deprived them of hope and diminished their faith had no impact on God’s ability to act. When His people were too broken and downtrodden to believe He could or would rescue them, when all they could do was moan and cry out their affliction to God, when hope seemed gone and help was nowhere to be found, God acted. 

Into their pain and sorrow and brokenness, God sent Moses. Coming back from his 40-year hiatus in Midian, God sent him to stand up to Pharaoh and deliver the people of Israel. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be immediate. God was on a mission to show himself to the Egyptians. He wanted to reveal His glory and let them know who was God. He wanted to give them the opportunity to believe. For weeks, as God worked out His plan, the Israelites rode the roller coaster of Pharaoh’s broken promises of freedom. Plagues came in Egypt. Water became blood. Frogs descended. Hordes of gnats flew out of the ground. Flies infested everything. Livestock died. Boils infected. Hail pulverized the crops. Locusts ate what remained. Darkness covered the earth for three entire days. A lesser man would have relented, yet Pharaoh still tried to negotiate their exit strategy. He made promises he knew he’d never keep. The Israelites’ hopes were dashed so many times they could barely muster the strength to believe. Then the final plague came. (Exodus 6:2-9; 7:14-10:29)

The firstborn of every household would die. Everyone would be affected. Not just the land of Egypt. Everyone needed to paint their doorway with blood if they wanted to be spared. The Israelites were given specific instructions. What to wear. What to cook. What to pack. What to eat. And they needed to be ready to leave. There would be no time to make preparations later. They couldn’t run around collecting their clothing and throwing some bread in a bag for lunch. No. Their yeast-less dough should be in their mixing bowls and their households ready to travel. They were leaving. For real this time. God had spoken and He would make it happen. (Exodus 11-12)

For people so beleaguered by oppression and bondage, it must have taken every ounce of faith they could muster to follow the orders they were given. Kill the lamb. Paint the door frame. Cook the food. Mix the dough. Ready your household for travel. One wonders if the entire time they were following Moses’ commands, their minds were reeling with, “What if…” questions. What if God didn’t come through? What if they did all this and Pharaoh backed out again? What if they didn’t get out in time and some of them were held back by the Egyptians? What if they got out in the wilderness and died, abandoned and alone, when they could just live, even oppressed, in Egypt? What if everything failed? What if it all came to nothing? What if their faith was misplaced? What if, after traversing the obstacles of exiting Egypt, they ended up in an even worse situation?   

They didn’t really have a choice. They had to risk it. Now. Sucking in great, calming breaths, they stalwartly made ready. Bags were packed. Livestock were gathered. Dough was made. Blood was sprinkled. The meal was cooked and eaten. Their sandals were on their feet. Their walking sticks were in their hands. When Moses and Aaron issued the order to evacuate, they were ready. And God brought them out of the land of Egypt safely with their flocks and herds, the aged and little ones. He delivered them from evil. Not in the way they imagined He would. Not at the time they believed He should. And now, not even in the direction it seemed they should go. This wasn’t the quickest way to the promised land. They knew it. Moses knew it. Surely God knew it. So why were they taking the long way? Why were they heading through the wilderness toward the Red Sea? Was God really leading them out or was He leading them to their death? He had brought them out of Egypt, but was it time for them to take the wheel now that it seemed God had His wires crossed? (Exodus 12:29-40)

God wasn’t confused about where He was leading His people. At all. He simply knew His children. He knew how downtrodden they were. He knew their discouragement. He understood their emotional fragility. He was aware that their ability to face a new enemy would end in certain disaster. They were not in a place to fight back. In their current, vulnerable state, the first sign of trouble from the Philistines would have them tempted to run back to the alleged safety of Egypt. They had to go this way. In order to remove the temptation to turn back, God led them by a way they weren’t anticipating. A path they hadn’t considered. A course that would take them out of harm’s way until they were in a stronger spiritual and emotional space. God wasn’t about to lead them into temptation in the process of delivering them from evil. (Exodus 13:17-18)

He won’t do that to you either. Embattled as you are in the things that beat on your soul. Waiting as you are for God to keep the promise of doing something new in your life. Disheartened as you are when everything around you seems to be crumbling and you feel like you are constantly perched on the precipice of despair. Worried and anxious over your future, your job, your relationship, your child. Emotionally drained, physically exhausted, mentally numb due to your current circumstances. Questioning if God is even going to do that thing–whatever it is–He promised. Feeling like there has to be a better, faster, more efficient way to get to the good part of His promise, know this. God isn’t stalling. He isn’t waiting it out to see how long you can handle the panic and pressure. God is working out His plan in the way that is best for you. He is asking you to trust Him while He works. Then trust Him while He leads. Trust Him when the path He is taking you down isn’t the one you think is best. Remembering this. God will not lead you into temptation while delivering you from the evil. (James 1:13; Isaiah 43:16-19; I Corinthians 10:13; Psalm 23:3; 37:23)

Sometimes it is in our best interest to go the long way. We really don’t like it. In our world of instant gratification, we are incredibly poor at waiting. But God is never making you wait just to torture or penalize you. God is allowing you to wait because He knows what is ahead. He knows what is going to happen, how you will feel, what you will do when you meet certain obstacles or gain certain goals. And He is trying to keep you away from temptation. Just like you’ve asked. Every time you pray the prayer Jesus’ taught us to pray in the Gospels, you asked Him to do just that. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” That’s what God is doing. Because He knows you. He knows what will make you and what will break you. He knows how strong or fragile your emotional, physical, and spiritual health is. And, like the prophet Isaiah wrote and Jesus quoted, “He will not break a bent reed. He will not snuff out the smoldering flax.” He knows where you are and cares about every part of you. You can trust Him. (Isaiah 42:3; 46:10; Matthew 6:9-13; 12:20) 

So do it. Trust God with your uncertainty, your fears, your cares. Trust Him with your vulnerabilities, your exhaustion, your questions. Trust Him to lead you away from temptation and deliver you from evil at the very same time. Trust Him to do that new thing He promised. Because He will. At just the right time, in just the right way, God will keep His promise. He will rescue you. He will honor you. He will bless your life. As you daily cry out your pain and frustration, angst and anger, fear and uncertainty to God, know that He hears you. He sees you. He understands your circumstances. And He has a plan. He will rescue you. But you will have to trust Him. Trust His heart of love for you. Trust His inherent goodness. Trust His timing, His path, His plan. Know that God is sovereign over all the distressing, discouraging, disastrous things in your life. Trust Him to bring you victoriously through. The same God who brought the people of Israel to the promised land via the long way, through hardship and horror, between walls of water, and across desert wilderness, will make a way for you too. Even if your faith is faulty. Even if your belief is broken. Even if your hope is hesitant. Know that you can trust Him. Know that He is working for your good. Know that He always keeps His promises. Even when He takes you the long way. (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah 15:21; Psalm 34:15; 91:15; I Peter 5:7; II Timothy 4:18; Ephesians 3:20; Isaiah 55:8-9; II Corinthians 1:20)